Just the other day I confessed to a friend how I was tired all the time and yet felt I wasn’t doing enough as a mother. What followed was a piece of profound advice. She said, “Stop being hard on yourself and get rid of your guilt. You are the best mother your child can have.”
I know a lot of women live behind this garb of guilt every single day. The main culprit is this idea of a super mom that has inundated our society in the past couple of years. Women are expected to juggle their work and home, look after their kids and also maintain their bodies.
In this new age of influencers, we see several star mommies who seem to be doing it so well. We scan people through the lens of social media and believe they are having-it-all. We end up comparing ourselves with them and go down a spiral of self-pity and disappointment.
The fact is that no-one is having it all. Every mother has her own share of struggles and is doing the best she can. Many mothers don’t sleep well at night while many others are tired and angry. Several others can’t concentrate at work because they constantly worry about their children. So many mothers feel lost and look for an assurance that they are doing the right things.
You may wonder how our parents made it look so simple. The fact is that it seemed easy because we grew up in simpler times. They managed life with whatever little they had and were genuinely happy. Our generation wants to do everything and be present everywhere. Despite having better means and comforts, we are never satisfied. We don’t enjoy our present and strive to fit into an over-hyped version of a perfect mother.
What really is a perfect mother, you may ask? Well, the answer lies with you. Do what makes you happy – love your children, play with them, cook their favourite meals or spend quality time with them. Go to work without any guilt as you are just a human being and are really doing the best you can. Order in food if you are too tired to fix a meal. Go for a spa session if you crave a little me-time.
Instead of being tough on yourself, focus on having a good time with your children. Instead of regretting your mistakes, learn from them so that you can strengthen your bond with your kids. Instead of being a super mom, become a happy one.
“Being a mother is not about what you gave up to have that child, but what you have gained from having one.” Enjoy this experience as this time shall never return.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY